It sucks when you are not the favorite child!

Are you the favorite child? If you are STOP READING NOW! If not then you could probably totally relate. You know what I hate? I hate that I can feel the difference of love distribution amongst the children in my family. It's so funny because my mom thinks that she doesn't treat us differently but she totally does my dad doesn't but my mom does and I find it hilarious that she can't tell she totally treats my sister more special. My sister always gets the jewelry she wants no matter how much it costs, she always gets the best family heirlooms and always gets first dibs on anything we get a choice on. When it comes to me and my brother we just get whats left or whatever the budget allows or whatever my sister does not want. The funny thing is even when something has been given to me its still offered to her as if its not mine already! yeah funny hu? kinda sad actually...It just amazes me that my mom can't tell she enables this. In my house the whole world revolves around my sister. But if we even barely mention it my mom denies it completely and is not even willing to step back and see what she is doing. She always says its because she's the older daughter so she gets to choose first and always choses the best and most valuable thing in the bunch I personally do not think that has anything to do with age she is just my mom's favorite. You know I'm not saying she doesn't deserve the treatment she totally does because she's great and I do love her because she is my sister but I would definitely be lying if I said it didn't bother me, it does bother me infact sometimes it bothers me more than it should. I'm not generally a jealous person and I'm not really jealous of the stuff she gets I think its deeper than that I think I'm jealous of her relationship with my mom and the treatment or attention she gets from her. My mom always asks her opinion and never cares about mine (even though a lot of the time mine is the same or better) and they talk for hours and when I ask whats up or when I come in I'm rarely included if ever! When I ask my mom whats up she always says nothing but when my sister asks she gets all the gossip and bonding and info that is never shared with me first or sometimes at all! and I'm always the last to know anything at my house. I just feel like my mom totally favors her I'm sure my brother feels the same way sometimes. I hate jealousy and I try so hard not to be jelous but like I said its not the materials its deeper its the treatment. I always try to repress my envious feelings of my sister and I just keep these feelings in or cry when I'm alone, it wouldn't be valued or paid attention to if I brought it up they would say I'm being a baby or I'm acting stupid they wouldn't understand anyway. When or if I become a parent some day I'm totally going to be completely aware of the relationship I have with my kids and I'm going to try a lot harder than my mom does to bond with them evenly and fairly.